Saturday, May 13, 2006
Psychic: Cobain to return as classical pianist 


On the heels of being voted the all-time top rock hero by NME readers,
Kurt Cobain's spirit is reportedly visiting with psychic Victoria
Bullis. Bullis claims that Cobain was such a "tortured and depressed"
soul because he was a 16th Century murderer. In her "Beyond The Grave"
column in Stuff magazine, the medium recounts a recent encounter with
the Nirvana star and assures fans he has "resolved his issues" after
links to a terrible past.
Bullis explains, "He's a tortured soul from many centuries ago. I'm
seeing a lifetime in Europe around the 16th century where he herded a
bunch of people into the dungeon underneath a castle and let them all
suffocate. Ever since then, he's never had a life where he wasn't
feeling tortured and depressed." Bullis also "reveals" that Cobain's
daughter, Frances Bean, was a relative of one of the people suffocated:
"He has a lot of guilt about her."

Meanwhile, the rock star's spirit, which Bullis says also inhabited the
body of a provocative early 20th century female trendsetter, plans to
return to earth as a great classical pianist. She adds, "He plans to be
back in 15 years, and he'll be a child prodigy."

I didn't know we got to pick our next life career! Its also good to know
Kurt has resolved his issues. But, I still want to know what the hell he
was doing with Courtney Love? Maybe I'll get to ask him when he plays
Carnegie Hall in about 20 years.